I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
