Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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