Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I love you.
Bad choice
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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