put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
