He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
