Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We got so high we made milksteak
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
