remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
