your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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