I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
