Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
