It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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