You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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