so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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