Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
