Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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