we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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