Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
