U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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