? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
we made out on top of his cat.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
