are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize