i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize