As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
