Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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