What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
