you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
