Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The beer is more important than you right now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
