New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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