i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
