I wish I only lived at night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
