I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize