do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
