Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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