I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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