Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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