he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
