My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
