If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.