mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just want nice things and good sex
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
