Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
