Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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