Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My penis needs a shock collar
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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