They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
