that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
