Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The ass gains better be worth it
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