So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize