lets start a swedish sibling band together
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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