The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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