My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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