Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
