Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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