Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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