That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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