I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
