So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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