Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize