I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
