Too much gin, very little bucket
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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