the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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